Mrs Rat Replies

{YOu need to read the one below this first}
Another great critter story

I received the following from the ‘ Radical Feminist Rats Collective’ (Brynderwyn Branch) I present it here in the interests of gender balance.
Well there I was, full term with the quins and he up and dies on me. I wouldn’t have worried, after all I’ve had eight husbands, and countless lovers, in my time, and he was far from the best of em. But he did bring in the odd dog biscuit and I’ll miss him round the place. Ya get hardened to it after a while. You see I’ve outlived all my partners, I’m a survivor I am. And bein one who takes her pleasure where I finds it, I don’t have no problems makin new friends. If yer takes my meanin.
A course I knew what was goin to happen I’s seen it all before. He began stayin out nights, reckoned he was just chewin the fat with his mates. He tried to hide it but when he’d finally get home, I could smell the warfarin on his breath. It’s a one way trip that stuff, never touch it meself, like I said I’m a survivor. I didn’t say nothin, but I knew he’d become a Talon addict and once they’ve got the habit the only way is down.
See I learnt early. Hadn’t long left home. Young and footloose, always out partying, livin the high life when one night I was hangin out in a kitchen pickin on crumbs and along comes this handsome young Rat. Boy was he somethin; filthy paws, lank matted fur, I wanted him real bad. Well we shared a couple of crumbs then he says,” Hey, I know where I can get a nice little bit of cheese, good vintage, great bouquet, what say I grab it and we head back to my place”? Now I don’t like to boast but I was a pretty dirty little Rat myself back then. “Don’t mind if I do,” I says. Well everthing was fine till he went to grab the cheese then, Bang! He was gone. Crushed right there in front of me. Gave me nightmares for weeks. Since then I know how to smell a human. Not every Rat’s that smart and they’ve taken a high toll on my friend and rallies. Nasty evil things humans, so we steal their food, chew holes in their ceilings and break into their cupboards. It’s our way of getting even; sometimes there’s even suicide missions to chew through electrical cables. We Rats are a dedicated bunch and we’ll win in the end.
For meself though, I’ve decided to move out of the house and take the kids to my summer residence in the bush. They’re too young yet to take part in the Rats Revolutionary Movement and it’s a safer place to raise the young rodents. But like I said, I’m a survivor and you can bet that come next winter I’ll be back up in the ceiling to renew my battle with the human foe, And hell, who knows? I might even have another partner by then.
Submitted by: The widow of Rattus Rattus.